A Lesson on Compassion & Humanity.

Never Ever Hurt Others ….

I have become a different person now. People at home find me arrogant, aggressive and adamant. Of late I have started avoiding the people I dislike, detest and distrust, delighting in keeping a safe distance from them.

I haven’t always been like that. There was a time when I knew better to look at the brighter side of Life (like my Akanksha does these days). Being the youngest of a new generation, I believed in the advantages of the benefit of the fast evaporating joint family System. I still remember the day when I found myself asking two of my cousin sisters-in-law, if it was really too much asking to stay united like one family, forgetting all the differences and hatred, when there was a fierce and furious family feud going on at 41.

Gone are those days of bitter-sweet rivalries. Gone are those wonderfully real people. We live in a world that teaches us to musk our identities for the Survival of the Weakest.

To come to the point, I was not all that eager the other day when Pisamashoi (one of my wife, Jaya’s uncles) called me to invite me to a family get-together on the 24^th in connection with the celebrations of the silver jubilee anniversary of their wedding. Coincidentally, one of my close relatives was also getting married on the same day and for reasons best known to myself, I decided to skip it! Just a month or so ago, I requested someone to attend the wedding, forgetting and forgiving all. Much water has flown down the Ganges since then and I made up my mind not to attend the marriage ceremony despite pleas from my wife and daughter to do the contrary.

I have always been a great admirer of my late mother. Almost all the best Lessons of Life, I learnt from her. My fondness for the elderly continues even today. So when I finally made it to Pisamashoi’s yesterday in spite of my lethargy and hesitation, I was happy beyond my expectation, to be stepping into a joint family (all four of Pisamashoi’s brothers live under the same roof) again. But the icing on the pudding came a little later when I was introduced to their Mashima (mother’s sister), a lady of around 79 years. Graceful and dignified, she traded near me and sat on the cot. I spent the next four hours talking to and learning from her.

Mashima informed me amicably, once she was cosily settled, about her childhood days (She had studied at Barrack pore Girls’ School and graduated from Rammohon College, I was told later), her late sister (Pisamashoi’s mother), how she was thrashed nicely one day and did not disclose it to their parents, trying to save her elder sister from the same fate, though smarting under the sisterly treatment even at that time! Mashima then told me what she liked most about her sister. It was her quality of never retaliating under any circumstances. “Even when others spoke ill of or unkindly to her?” I barged in.

“Yes,” replied the near octogenarian lady. The greatest sin one can commit is to hurt others feelings, sentiments by speaking unkindly to them. I could not but nod. It is true that in today’s world, it is rare to find a chivalrous gentleman or a judicious woman. If you don’t believe me, try saying something rudely to someone you consider to be a decent person and see how s/he reacts! All you have to do is to utter an unpleasant word about him or her, and let me warn you, that all hell will break loose and you will find yourself at the receiving end within no time!

In the last two decades or so, time and again, I found myself indulging in such verbal combats more often than I desired. Those combats involved my near and dear ones for settling scores, in the presence of the elderly members of the house. My only satisfaction is the fact that I never considered myself to be an educated, enlightened member of the Family of the Bhattacharyyas!

Mashima also spoke to me about her tenant, who has recently hung up the gloves and is in a spot of financial bother. With both her son and grandson (the later being in the final semester) having come back home at Golf Green, space is getting spurious inside and they want the rooms on the first floor. But despite their justifiable pleas, the old lady has not given in under pressure. She simply could not ask her helpless tenant to vacate the rooms! “How could I, Bappa (my nick name)? I remembered the Merciful One and wondered what would happen if I was in a similar position ….’

I complimented her stating that in an age when it is difficult for even Him to differentiate the good from the evil, when all people can think of is their children's welfare alone, even at the expense of the happiness of others, her character was truly a lesson on Compassion and Humanity! She had also talked to me earlier about the problem she had with her Maid. And how, in spite of the contract made between them that restricted the Maid’s responsibilities to kitchen alone, Mashima never forgets to invite her to the table, whenever some guests are there or something nice is cooking! At the end of the day, I felt truly blessed for my lucky encounter with this 79-year-old. For people like Mashima are getting rarer by the day, receding in distance of a world that was once innocent and beautiful.