Never Ever Hurt Others ….
I have
become a different person now. People at home find me arrogant, aggressive and
adamant. Of late I have started avoiding the people I dislike, detest and
distrust, delighting in keeping a safe distance from them.
I haven’t
always been like that. There was a time when I knew better to look at the
brighter side of Life (like my Akanksha does these days). Being the youngest of
a new generation, I believed in the advantages of the benefit of the fast
evaporating joint family System. I still remember the day when I found myself asking two
of my cousin sisters-in-law, if it was really too much asking to stay united
like one family, forgetting all the differences and hatred, when there was a
fierce and furious family feud going on at 41.
Gone are
those days of bitter-sweet rivalries. Gone are those wonderfully real people.
We live in a world that teaches us to musk our identities for the Survival of
the Weakest.
To come to
the point, I was not all that eager the other day when Pisamashoi (one of my wife, Jaya’s uncles) called me to invite me
to a family get-together on the 24th in connection with the
celebrations of the silver jubilee anniversary of their wedding.
Coincidentally, one of my close relatives was also getting married on the same
day and for reasons best known to myself, I decided to skip it! Just a month or
so ago, I requested someone to attend the wedding, forgetting and forgiving all.
Much water has flown down the Ganges since then and I made up my mind not to
attend the marriage ceremony despite pleas from my wife and daughter to do the
contrary.
I have
always been a great admirer of my late mother. Almost all the best Lessons of
Life, I learnt from her. My fondness for the elderly continues even today. So
when I finally made it to Pisamashoi’s yesterday
in spite of my lethargy and hesitation, I was happy beyond my expectation, to
be stepping into a joint family (all four of Pisamashoi’s brothers live under
the same roof) again. But the icing on the pudding came a little later when I
was introduced to their Mashima (mother’s sister), a lady of around 79 years.
Graceful and dignified, she traded near me and sat on the cot. I spent the next
four hours talking to and learning from her.
Mashima
informed me amicably, once she was cosily settled, about her childhood days (She
had studied at Barrack pore Girls’ School and graduated from Rammohon College,
I was told later), her late sister (Pisamashoi’s mother), how she was thrashed
nicely one day and did not disclose it to their parents, trying to save her
elder sister from the same fate, though smarting under the sisterly treatment
even at that time! Mashima then told me what she liked most about her sister.
It was her quality of never retaliating under any circumstances. “Even when
others spoke ill of or unkindly to her?” I barged in.
“Yes,”
replied the near octogenarian lady. The
greatest sin one can commit is to hurt others feelings, sentiments by speaking
unkindly to them. I could not but nod. It is true that in today’s world, it
is rare to find a chivalrous gentleman or a judicious woman. If you don’t believe me, try
saying something rudely to someone you consider to be a decent person and see
how s/he reacts! All you have to do is to utter an unpleasant word about him or
her, and let me warn you, that all hell will break loose and you will find yourself
at the receiving end within no time!
In the last
two decades or so, time and again, I found myself indulging in such verbal
combats more often than I desired. Those combats involved my near and dear ones
for settling scores, in the presence of the elderly members of the house. My
only satisfaction is the fact that I never considered myself to be an educated,
enlightened member of the Family of the Bhattacharyyas!
Mashima also
spoke to me about her tenant, who has recently hung up the gloves and is in a
spot of financial bother. With both her son and grandson (the later being in
the final semester) having come back home at Golf Green, space is getting
spurious inside and they want the rooms on the first floor. But despite their
justifiable pleas, the old lady has not given in under pressure. She simply
could not ask her helpless tenant to vacate the rooms! “How could I, Bappa (my
nick name)? I remembered the Merciful One and wondered what would happen if I
was in a similar position ….’
I
complimented her stating that in an age when it is difficult for even Him to
differentiate the good from the evil, when all people can think of is their
children's welfare alone, even at the expense of the happiness of others, her
character was truly a lesson on Compassion and Humanity! She had also talked to
me earlier about the problem she had with her Maid. And how, in spite of the
contract made between them that restricted the Maid’s responsibilities to
kitchen alone, Mashima never forgets to invite her to the table, whenever some
guests are there or something nice is cooking! At the end of the day, I felt truly blessed for my lucky encounter with this 79-year-old. For people like Mashima are getting rarer by the day, receding in distance of a world that was once innocent and beautiful.
